To friend or not to friend...

This past Sunday (at youth group) we talked about the chain reaction of sin and got on the topic of friends and the struggle they sometimes pose.

Now, lemme back track (I think I backtrack in literally every single post I make. Oh well)

Mary Blenke Timeline

2006: Had my first boyfriend, had my first breakup.
2006: Had my second boyfriend, had my second breakup.
2006: Went to High School (St. Petersburg Catholic High School)
-> now, my freshman year I'm not going to lie, I was pretty dang outgoing. I like to think I had a lot of "friends", as in, people to hang out with, people I knew, just people who knew me.
2007: Was introduced to my third boyfriend through friends.
2007: Had my first heart break (wahh, sob sob sob)

Now comes the interesting part.

In 2008 I started a long distance relationship with a guy who lived in Ohio. Never met him, we started talking through myspace (whats that?).

I still had friends.

But the deeper I got into this relationship the less prevalent my friends became. Over the next two year I had basically lost all my friends.

ANYWAYS, I think the reason it was so devastating was not because I actually liked the people I called my friends or looked up to them, it was the idea that I had no one to hang out with. I had no group to go to prom with, I had no group to be a part of.

I walked into school everyday and sat at the same picnic table with the same people, didn't really talk, didn't really listen, just sat there.

I couldn't decide what was worse: going to school and having no one or being at home on the weekends and having no one.


Now, almost 2 years later, I finally realize why I was so upset about being alone.

I was in mass yesterday and the homily spoke about the lies the devil puts on our hearts because of original sin (there are two):

1. That something is wrong with us. 
The devil puts this lie on our hearts so that it will create an extreme uneasiness. That every time someone says a comment against or even to compliment us we scrutinize it and in the end scrutinize yourself.

and ...... (pay attention!)

2. That you are alone. (moreover that it is not okay to be alone)
A.K.A. the quietness that the Lord calls for we perceive as NOT OKAY. The devil puts this on our heart so that we fill our days with useless things so that we do not have to be alone, with our own thoughts and ultimately with God.

So, this is what I have learned from my last two high school years, especially my senior years. (I broke up with my boyfriend right before my senior year)

Those years CHANGED MY LIFE for the better.

Those years are when I truly found the Lord in my silence. I learned that its ok to have time to myself. I learned that when I spent time alone I actually was with my Lord and Savior because the truth is that YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

When you feel alone, it is the devil telling you that you are alone. You aren't alone. Never.

I'm sitting in my car writing this right now. Technically I am alone, no one is around or with me. But I'm not alone.

First of all, I'm with you cool cats. Second of all, I'm with my Lord. All that I write is of Him.

I encourage you to become friends with HIM. I guarantee after you do (or even just continuously attempt too) you will NEVER feel alone.

I never feel alone.


xo