Monday, January 30, 2012

To friend or not to friend...

This past Sunday (at youth group) we talked about the chain reaction of sin and got on the topic of friends and the struggle they sometimes pose.

Now, lemme back track (I think I backtrack in literally every single post I make. Oh well)

Mary Blenke Timeline

2006: Had my first boyfriend, had my first breakup.
2006: Had my second boyfriend, had my second breakup.
2006: Went to High School (St. Petersburg Catholic High School)
-> now, my freshman year I'm not going to lie, I was pretty dang outgoing. I like to think I had a lot of "friends", as in, people to hang out with, people I knew, just people who knew me.
2007: Was introduced to my third boyfriend through friends.
2007: Had my first heart break (wahh, sob sob sob)

Now comes the interesting part.

In 2008 I started a long distance relationship with a guy who lived in Ohio. Never met him, we started talking through myspace (whats that?).

I still had friends.

But the deeper I got into this relationship the less prevalent my friends became. Over the next two year I had basically lost all my friends.

ANYWAYS, I think the reason it was so devastating was not because I actually liked the people I called my friends or looked up to them, it was the idea that I had no one to hang out with. I had no group to go to prom with, I had no group to be a part of.

I walked into school everyday and sat at the same picnic table with the same people, didn't really talk, didn't really listen, just sat there.

I couldn't decide what was worse: going to school and having no one or being at home on the weekends and having no one.

Now, almost 2 years later, I finally realize why I was so upset about being alone.

I was in mass yesterday and the homily spoke about the lies the devil puts on our hearts because of original sin (there are two):

1. That something is wrong with us. 
The devil puts this lie on our hearts so that it will create an extreme uneasiness. That every time someone says a comment against or even to compliment us we scrutinize it and in the end scrutinize yourself.

and ...... (pay attention!)

2. That you are alone. (moreover that it is not okay to be alone)
A.K.A. the quietness that the Lord calls for we perceive as NOT OKAY. The devil puts this on our heart so that we fill our days with useless things so that we do not have to be alone, with our own thoughts and ultimately with God.

So, this is what I have learned from my last two high school years, especially my senior years. (I broke up with my boyfriend right before my senior year)

Those years CHANGED MY LIFE for the better.

Those years are when I truly found the Lord in my silence. I learned that its ok to have time to myself. I learned that when I spent time alone I actually was with my Lord and Savior because the truth is that YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

When you feel alone, it is the devil telling you that you are alone. You aren't alone. Never.

I'm sitting in my car writing this right now. Technically I am alone, no one is around or with me. But I'm not alone.

First of all, I'm with you cool cats. Second of all, I'm with my Lord. All that I write is of Him.

I encourage you to become friends with HIM. I guarantee after you do (or even just continuously attempt too) you will NEVER feel alone.

I never feel alone.


Sunday, January 15, 2012

Fearfully and WONDERFULLY made. My Beloved.

Let me just tell you, I freaking LOVE the word Beloved.

I long to be called Beloved. I was journaling about it a few weeks ago and said something along the lines of "Lord, when will I find someone to call me Beloved?"

He was straight up like "uh hello Mary, nice to meet you I'm RIGHT HERE".

I mean, it says it in the Bible doesn't it?

"Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world." (John 4:1)

Yep, right there.

He calls us Beloved! As if He knew we would be reading this word one day, all of Christianity reading it as a Holy and personal account from the Lords mouth.

Isn't it crazy that the Bible was put together on the premise that one day millions of people would read and learn by it? SO CRAZY.

Ahh, I love being called Beloved.
Lets break it down.


Be. Be you, Be the Lord. What is our calling in life?  Who knows. There is one calling we all must know is ours and act upon it. The call to be the Lords.

The Lord calls us all to His table. To believe in Him and to love Him.
We are called to love Him through our love to others. Our neighbors.

Be what the Lord is calling you to be, Loved.

Loved. So many different meanings from one simple word. I see it in two ways. Loved, to be a loving and thoughtful member of society so that when people think back to who you are they can say "Mary really Loved the world, the society, and everything God has created for her.". Loved. Loved is a past tense of the word Love, sometimes anyways. It is also an explanation.

She is Loved. She Loved.

She Loved is past tense
She is Loved is present tense.

Be-Loved; be loving.
Be-Loved: be loved.

Beloved: what the Lord calls us and what we are called to act as.

We are HIS Beloved.

We were fearfully and WONDERFULLY made.

He Loves us above all else.


Thursday, January 5, 2012

I can't get any holier.

I once heard someone say "I'm as Holy as I need to be, I don't think I can get any better". Truth be told, up until a few years ago I agree. Now that I know better, my heart truly aches at the thought of not being able to dive deeper, to become Holier.

When I joined the Life Teen movement almost 6 years ago my whole world twisted a little. The more I've been involved with this movement, the more I realize that statement up there is completely false. Thats something that I find different about the Catholic faith, there's always room to grow more. I have a friend-boy (I did that on purpose) that is Presbyterian Protestant (I think that's how you say it) and we talk a lot about faith. If I may explain his position without his permission I would say that he longs to go deeper but just doesn't know how, like he's stuck.

Stuck? Stuck where? Mary, what in the world are you talking about.

Well, reader, I am talking about this. The Catholic (and Christian) faith in general is full of mysteries. The mystery of the Virgin Mary, the mystery of the Holy Trinity, the mystery of the Eucharist.

I mean, look at the rosary! There are the Joyful mysteries, the Sorrowful Mysteries, the Glorious mysteries, and the Luminous mysteries.
Whats the key word here? mysteries.

Ding Ding Ding!

We have all these mysteries that cannot be solved other than by the Lord. I can't explain to you why or how or when Mary ascended into Heaven. I can't convince you with my own words who the Holy Spirit impregnated a 14 year old Virgin girl with the Savior of the world. I just don't have the words or the power. Sure, I can tell you about them, but I know no root. I just know what I read and what I have faith in.

This brings us back to my post on the Eucharist, kind of. God doesn't call us to understand everything about our faith, but he calls us to have faith in it. To believe in it and hope to one day understand it better (not fully). That is why they are called mysteries.
If we did not have mysteries, there would be nothing to dive deeper into. Our faith would just be cut and dry, with explanations to everything and understanding of everything.

What fun would that be?

Dive a little deeper, I promise you'll never reach the bottom. (until heaven, and once you're there pray for those seeking to go deeper on earth!)

Peace and God's love.